May 04, 2016

I'm Back

Hello world!

Can't believe it's been two years since i last logged on here. By some chance i was trying to visit this site using my mobile phone and for some reason i couldn't access it. Such a techno-ignoramus i am, see.  So i hurriedly opened my account using the pc and here i am once again facing my wall... yep... no other words to describe it... my wall.

So for the next days or weeks or months and so... i will be updating this wall. Maybe not as often as i used to as i wouldn't have constant access to technology when i'm at the farm. But i do want to write again, and maybe live a productive life again... hopefully.

Till next update.

Ciao!

May 30, 2014

Sad Again


Feeling Gray

irritation is needlessly irksome. it appears at anytime and without much ado. this time again, i woke up with that heavy feeling, like a seemingly double-edged sword hanging above me. 

so finally i snap.

all those years of holding it in and keeping it together. i can't do it anymore.

so just please indulge me.

else, i will be the one to break.  

May 29, 2014

Thief in the House

it was on a day like this.

my mom couldn't sleep and was up all night waiting for my bro.

last night... i too felt it.

i couldn't sleep and so had to get out of the room every 30 minutes to check if my brother has come home. i was finally able to nod off around two o'clock. then he returned. both me and mom woke up to the dogs barking. i checked the time. it was past 4 o'clock in the morning. i met him and asked for my phone back. he said not to worry, he'd give it back. i insisted to have it right away. he said later.

it's gone. he took my phone and pawned it.

like all the other stuff we have in the house, he took it and pawned it. gone are all of mom's jewelry (those that are valuable and can be pawned anyway) and even our electronic gadgets (several phones, laptop, camera).

and so it'll start again. us asking where it was pawned and how much needed to buy it back. once we get it back, he gets it again and pawns it again and the process repeats until we can not get it back anymore. a useless, endless cycle of saving - a thing and a soul.

now it's tiring.




Devastated

February 28, 2013

Simply Forty

whoa! just a single entry for this month, and it's on the last day of the month already (our dog Ziva's nine puppies are one month-old already! yipee!). march starts tomorrow.

celebrated my 40th birthday simply, with my family and close relatives. we all could fit at the table, we were that few. yes, few but still happy. daddy will be coming home this weekend to celebrate with us. i originally thought of not celebrating but changed my mind at the last minute. my mom was surprised yesterday when i bought groceries and some food items for chicken salad and food for the gods which i asked her to help me out with. we made it last night so that we only had to cook viands today. my aunty tata from next door even gave me a cake. it was a simple celebration, but a celebration nonetheless- thanking God for 40 good years. the only hitch was that a brownout suddenly occurred. so we dined and chatted and laughed (not to mention, me and my mom were at each other's throat) all throughout our candle-lit dinner. :-) there were two lads who suddenly appeared and sang Give Thanks. later on we learned they were members of a youth club and going around soliciting for donation. one of my nieces present uttered, "aunty gigik is so lucky somebody even came to sing for her." a blessing maybe?  then my mom told me to blow out a candle which i placed in a small glass bottle since it was way too small already. my niece Abbie (same name, yeah) got so ecstatic when the lights suddenly turned on right at the very moment i blew out the candle. her face was all aglow, so i just said, "see i just blew my birthday candle". and she clapped her hands, hahaha, gleefully saying, "yehey, good aunty gigik blew the candle".

ahh, life's simple pleasures!

January 11, 2013

God's Heritage

Preserve me, o God,
for in Thee I take refuge.
I say to the Lord,
"Thou art my Lord;
I have no good
apart from Thee."...
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
Thou holdest my lot. 
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
yea, I have a goodly heritage.

                                                                                                 - Psalm 16: 1-2, 5-6