Post-Valentine Post

have been in touch with glo and jane recently. met up with jane last weekend as she lives just across edsa from where i'm at. just had to cross the tunnel from boni to get to pioneer. and as usual, sa harap na naman kami ng tv nagdaldalan. she took me to hmr after lunch. now i know where this place is that my kuya goes to buy his shoes and pants.

texted glo to meet her at the fair. tomorrow is the last day of the febfair at uplb. excited akong pumunta. haven't been to one in a long time.

meanwhile, belated happy valentine's day to all. am posting these bakes i made last monday. of course, langga was very happy. another sweet tooth in the family. :-)

Dreaming On

Years ago, i attended the Truly Rich seminar of tito bo, together with a couple of my colleagues at monde. afterwards, we were very excited about what we learned, we immediately met a fin mgt agent whom our boss have been telling us about. then, we learned more about funds and decided to invest in it. also, tita chelle helped me get dollar fixed income funds and some equity funds in sec through IMG. that was before i decided to resign from my job and go abroad to seek greener pastures (or so i thought). this decision was due in part to some inner searching i took months before on what i wanted to do with my life. pen in hand and imagination flying, all i needed was to open up my heart and free my mind of all the boggling fears carefully hidden inside. finally, my soul searching pointed me to the road i embarked on.

fast forward now to 2012, just last weekend, trish invited me to sit-in on another truly rich session by tito bo. i arrived late, thanks to my hopeless ineptitude in understanding directions. tito bo was still funny, and gwapo in his suit, and serious, and awfully right! he mentioned about doing the same thing i did- writing down what he wanted and setting out to do it. only difference is, his list was very detailed. and right he was! (once again). it's indeed easier to get something if you have it laid down exactly as you want it. it's hard to miss something so specific. he wrote down 15 pages of his goals and said it always brings tears to his eyes every time he realizes one of his dreams have come true. wow, that's truly amazing!

i am so embarassed to admit that mine was all helter-skelter and roughly drafted out. no wonder i still don't know if i have achieved it already. with such ambiguous goals laid down, the only outcome could only be a general "uhhm, yeah, this is it, maybe..." .

but tito bo mentioned something i did not do. he said he read his list everyday... every single day. mine was folded and refolded several times over, tucked into one of my numerous planners, and pushed back onto some obscure boxes hidden away under the bed never again to see the light of day. until a few weeks ago. indeed, life has some surprising way of turning out. my cousin and her whole family was coming to stay with us for a couple of weeks for their interview at the US embassy. trish and i spent the whole night tidying up the place, at which point i was reunited with my planner of long ago. and there, lo and behold, i saw it again. hidden in several folds --- my life's dreams! i quietly read it again. sighed. then tucked it into my new planner and then placed it inside my bag.

so last night, i attempted to read my list once more. while i was in dubai and after coming back home, i thought my goals have changed. but one realization i had was that, what i'd written years ago are still true to this day. goals change depending on one's circumstances (esp. short-term goals... strategic ones). but dreams remain the same. looking deep inside, my list still reflects my heart's desires. even having gone through so much changes in my life, indeed, i still have my dreams waiting to be made.

Colors

Grey… were the clouds

that hovered across the sky

yesterday

while rains pummelled

on the window panes

midst the cream-washed walls

of this shell

encasing me;

and brown were the pitter-patters

of little feet

outside

gently enveloping me

in a daze

of blue and pink and yellow

swirls

to match

magenta tinge of lilacs

serenading reds and blacks

and stronger hues

of golden daffodils

like soft kisses

of brilliant

fuchshia-winged butterflies

caressing me

with the sweet minty smell

of a baby’s rosy breath

and orange chuckle

to touch the verdant grass

which seem so far

out of my grasp

today.

I wait then

for when

I can taste

and hear and feel

and smell

tomorrow’s

pot of gold

or silver

or platinum

around the bend

where lies

the rainbow’s end.

Connected

wow, was ecstatic to finally link with friends again after a while. it's been some time since i opened the net and was so glad to read mails/messages from friends. iba talaga ang nagagawa ng push galing sa mga kaibigan. :-)

have to get my life on track. let's see- have to:

-update my resume

-draft some applications

-polish on those technical what's-and-how's for interviews (just in case)

-trim down to size ehem

-practice driving

-stick to my daily discipline

phewwww! like i've said before, i'm back to square one and joining the rat-race once again.

huh, good luck to me!

New Year, New Hope

it's the feast of the epiphany.

i can only offer a prayer of hope for my kababayans. Monsignor's homily hit me hard. and here i am feeling all hopeless and sad for the plight of so many here back home.

have been too distressed over what happened just weeks ago. 'twas the saddest Christmas ever in our community. i had long wanted to write about it but words just won't come. my heart was too crushed over the sorry sights in our place everywhere.

many relatives were still reeling from the floods. some sustained wounds from banging/crushing their feet trying to get out of the ceiling with the muddy waters rising a foot a minute inside their homes. their doors could not be opened due to the pressure of the raging waters outside hence they were trapped inside. a lot of the friends and neighbors we know perished this way- trapped inside their houses! an aunt died, her mother still missing until now; my mom's friend was washed up on the river but alas 5 grandchildren died,with her husband and 1 more granddaughter still missing. theirs were the grief-stricken faces that have been posted and re-posted on facebook countless times.- that of a father carrying his child, and his two sisters on the background wailing for their own dead children alongside him. some more aunts and uncles fought their way to get out of their homes (breaking glass doors/ crushing the ceiling with their hands and feet) and staying on the rooftop until the early morning hours when daybreak came and the waters have receded to waist-deep height. my own brother barely managed to help his friend's family get out of Orchids village before the waters inundated their home along with Bayug island just a few meters across it.

my kuya's family and i arrived days after what happened. but the gloom and sadness was so foreboding, it was heart-wrenching. my relatives took up camp along the roadside near their homes along with many others in the neighborhood. not many went to the camps/relocation areas. not when they have friends and relatives willing to help them recover. and yes, they never received any of the donations that were supposed to have come. the local government will not give to those not staying in the camps/relocation sites. what stupidity! these people who saw fit not to join the already over-crowded centers still deserve to receive their share. a lot of mattresses were donated but these were not given to those not in the camps. wtf?!! the people who did not go there still needed those beds, still needed food, still needed clothing. and because of that, these people have their spirits even more crushed. because a lot of them did not get the proper help from their own local government. the mayor's wife often get shouted at and rejected out of the affected areas as stories started spreading about how she would act high and mighty demanding private donations by civil groups to be centralized in the city centers.

after days of meeting with the city council on the needs of the people in the affected areas and getting frustrated over the inaction and mere lipservice, our parish priest started encouraging those who were willing to help to just go directly to the areas and do their outreach. and all the better. otherwise, the people would have waited in vain. they needed help immediately, and they did not get it. how can local government not release funds at such a crucial time as this? a calamity fund has been accorded to the city but all over the place you can hear people complaining and asking where it was. city officials, have you really been looking after your people's plight? why then is it easier for you to release funds during campaign period than during a calamity when your constituents gravely needed it?

this has been cleaned by Christmas time but alas, so few came for the Eucharistic celebration. on the early morning of Dec 25th, we went to church early but what we were told to be 6am mass became a 7am mass. what usually is teeming with chattering and joyful faces of old folks and children alike on any given Sunday was then the saddest face of Christmass i've ever seen. yes, too few came. i was doing the first reading and as i read the verses assigned to me, i felt saddened by the gloomy faces before me.

below are pics near the bridge. houses have been swept away. look at the debris and giant logs that lodged anywhere thereafter.

here are pics of Orchids Village just a few hundred meters from our place.

hills of mud like this were bulldozed from the roads in Orchid village so that it can be passable once again.

across Orchids is Bayug island, or what's left of it.

on this sight was once a hanging bridge leading to Bayug island. now it has been swept away by the waters. those who want to go the main island now rides on a small banca or raft like this.

Saddened by Sendong

not too happy since yesterday. am feeling distressed with news about Sendong.

Prayer for Those Who Suffer

For those who suffer,

and those who cry this night,

give them repose, Lord;

a pause in their burdens

Let there be minutes

where they experience peace,

not of man but of angels.

Love them, Lord, when others cannot.

Hold them, Lord, when we fail with human arms.

Heal their prayers

and give them the ability to hear you back

in whatever language they best understand.

Amen.

2nd Sunday of Advent

woke up to a rainy Sunday morning. took a bath and went to hear mass at the clubhouse. it's already the second Sunday of Advent. and still in consonance with the Advent readings, today's sermon is about our personal preparation for the Lord's coming- filling in of the uneven roads in our life (making up for what we lack / omissions), making straight the path (giving up vices, admitting our wrongs), levelling the mountains into plains (humbling ourselves, putting out our pride), basically stop sinning or trying our level best not to commit to sin anymore. Father was reminding us about the coming Simbang Gabi and how the clusters are gonna be handling the mass sponsorship.

stopped by the grocery and bought tinapay and cookies. just got back home and cooked breakfast. had a hearty meal of daing, corned beef and scrambled eggs. ang sarap kumain pag umuulan. and the daing smelled of dried pusit. this came from indonesia, one of their delicacies. sarap, ang lutong!