December 31, 2008
A lot has happened. A lot of decisions have been made. There's been quite a number of changes happening all at once.
Deciding to leave a very comfortable life back home and venture into the unknown has been the biggest risk I took in my life. But I had to do it. It's in one of my TO DO LIST before I turn 40. Oh well, it is a fact. Undeniably, I am not getting any younger. I had to do it now while I still can rather than wonder for the rest of my life about the what could have been's.
Along with the decision to leave my work and my country was the thought that I may not have the same kind of life that I have been used to back home. So I have to prepare myself for such eventuality. And I may not get the same kind of job, or the same pay. So many things are so uncertain, what with the global crisis and all. But just the same, I decided to take a chance. I thought: It's a good thing I have relatives whom I will be staying with. It'll at least make the transition a little bit easier. And they have indeed helped me out anyway they can - financially, emotionally, spiritually. They are there making me laugh, accompanying me on walks, in going to church, and just bringing me along for gala. And best of all, they lend me money when I'm short on cash (which happens pretty often these days, believe me).
It's so comforting to have people to run to. Beyond the physical hardship, emotional strain of separation and psychological worries of what tomorrow may bring, there's only so much that one can take. Sometimes, my body wants to give up because my heart just couldn't take things in anymore. That's why it is really so important that not only the body and mind be ready, the human spirit should also be prepared.
Every choice we make in life is coupled with consequences. I am learning to live with this lesson everyday. Sometimes, we make good choices with good consequences. At other times, we make bad choices wherefore we learn to deal with the consequences and do our very best to try to find ways to make them better.
Eversince I arrived here in DXB, I have been trying to adjust to a very different world. I have learned to condition myself to be more thrifty and more practical with the things that I buy or pay for. I have to constantly remind myself to exercise caution with my finances. For surely, times are hard. But by the grace of God and the help of family and friends, this journey hopefully will only serve to strengthen this human spirit.
December 25, 2008
December 11, 2008
December 04, 2008
Ang sarap mag-stay sa bahay tapos nasa bed lang buong maghapon (especially since Eid- three days na naman holiday after this weekend). Tapos nood ng TV o di kaya'y DVD. Miss ko ang mga DVD marathons ko nun sa Pinas pag long weekends o bakasyon. Paano ba naman e madami akong nahihiraman ng mga full season/ complete episodes ng mga favorite kong koreanovela.
Andiyan ang Winter Sonata, Only You, Jumong, Love Story in Harvard, Legend, Lovers in Paris, at Spring Waltz (gosh! kilig talaga ako kay Daniel Henney!). And let's not forget my own set of All About Eve and Jewel in the Palace (na nasa nanay ko na ngayon).
May napanood din pala akong Chinese TV series na nagustuhan ko. Iyong The Warriors na pamilya- forgot na apelyido nila. ",) Hanep 'no? Addictus nga talaga ako sa mga telenovela na 'yan. Although pili lang naman, pag medyo nasimulan ko at ok naman ang kwento. Madaming pinalabas na di ko masyado feel tulad ng Green (something), Princess Hours, My Sassy Girl, Full House, MG, etc. Di ko na-trip-an e. Sorry ha sa mga fans ng mga iyon. peace tayo!
December 03, 2008
anak ng.... tama na sana bigkas nung unang vowel, nagkabuntot naman ng 'a'. e minsan pa nga wika sa akin nung isang nag-interview sa akin dati, "Your name, very hard to speak." Lintsak!
e ang ganda kaya ng pangalan ko. hehe... walang halong yabang 'yon ha. ",)
sa totoo lang, proud naman talaga ako sa ibinigay sa aking pangalan ng mga magulang ko. Abigail means 'father's joy'. and i want to be just that, a person who will be the joy of not only my daddy but most especially our dear Father in heaven.
kayo ba alam niyo ang ibig sabihin ng pangalan niyo?
napakabata nitong taong ito. ang layo na ng narating niya.
ako naman ay walang pangarap maging swimming champ. di naman ako ilusyonada. hehe... but like what i've recounted sometime before, sapat na sa akin ang matutong mag-float. hahaha...
November 26, 2008
Sorry guys for this lengthy re-post. Mr. Jim Paredes, sana po ay ok lang po sa inyo na nagpost uli ako ng inyong article...
HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes
HOW TO HANDLE A HERO Sunday, August 3, 2008
The OFW (overseas Filipino worker), who used to be known as OCW (overseas contract worker), is now an integral part of our national culture and consciousness — as Pinoy as pakbet and adobo. It is a cultural template that came to be primarily because our country could not — and still cannot — provide enough employment for its citizens. People have had to find jobs abroad to earn enough to clothe, feed and care for their constantly growing families that, to add to their problems, their faith discourages them from keeping small.
OFWs have been dubbed by the very system that created them as “heroes” for bringing home dollars that provide much needed economic benefits to their families and, consequently, to the system itself. And while they may in fact be a big factor why our country has not collapsed despite the culture of inertia, corruption and government mismanagement that plague it, OFWs are, in their own view, reluctant heroes, to be sure.
One, most of them really have no choice but to go abroad for lack of opportunities here. Two, many of them will abandon the “hero” label in a heartbeat if they can simply find some way to feed their families and stay in the Philippines at the same time. We know that they and their loved ones pay too high a price for the economic benefits they enjoy. And this includes being away from their loved ones and missing out as their family stories are written. They are absent from family pictures, albums, house blessings, graduations, births, birthdays, anniversaries and family reunions because ironically, they have to earn their money elsewhere to finance all this.
They have children who are fed and clothed but are orphaned of at least one parent. Their main consolation is, at least, the people they love are experiencing these wonderful economic benefits even if they cannot physically be part of it and enjoying with them.
I have met many OFWs during my travels abroad and even now that I live parttime in Sydney . I have observed that as much as they are the providers and the sustainers of life back home they, too, need care and sustenance which many of them hardly get. A lot of them complain about being trapped or doomed to being lonely and missing out on life just so their loved ones can have a better life.
This article is about the caring and encouragement these reluctant heroes, who up hold the sky up for our families and our society, need on their end. Here are a few things to keep in mind when relating to the fathers, mothers, kuyas, ates, uncles, aunts and other relatives who have left us temporarily to keep the rest of us alive.
1. Relate to them as people, not just as providers.
Many times, the relationship between OFWs and their families back home is sadly reduced to an almost solely economic one. A lot of OFWs complain that most of the time, they only hear from the beneficiaries of their hard-earned salaries when the roof needs fixing, the tuition needs paying, someone is sick, or a relative needs money. They feel like slaves trapped in a cycle of backbreaking work in order to grant their families’ wishes.
Although I live abroad, I’m what you may call an OFW in reverse. A big part of my family is in Sydney , and I come quite often to Manila to earn and pay for the house, schooling, food, electricity, etc. As an “Aussie W,” as Danny Javier likes to call me, I go through the same loneliness and deprivation that regular OFWs go through, although not as intensely and desperately. At least I am able to go back every few months and stay for a few weeks unlike the majority who go home only once every year or two and stay only for a couple of weeks.
2. Find more things to write or communicate to them about other than asking for money.
The main loss that OFWs feel is the deprivation of affection from their loved ones. It starts off as a physical loss which they and their families feel initially. After a while, when the dust has settled and the reality sets in that the relative will be gone for quite a while, indifference can creep in. Families can get used to their member being far away, leading to an alienation that can be most painful especially for the person who is away.
A soon-to-be-released documentary I watched a few days ago showed a group of Filipino teachers employed in the United States who felt a lot of frustration while doing video chats with their families. Apart from presenting a list of things they needed financed, many of their family members had little else to talk to them about.
Things changed dramatically when one of the teachers committed suicide due to sheer loneliness. After that, the family video chats became less of an asking or begging session, and more of a genuine exchange of love and caring. This is what OFWs miss the most. So make sure they are kept in the loop and abreast of what’s going on in everyone’s lives.
3. Constantly shower the OFW with gratitude.
There is nothing more gratifying than being appreciated for the sacrifices one makes. A simple, heartfelt “thank you” from a loved one can be profoundly uplifting to someone who is feeling the alienation and meaninglessness of living in some foreign place. It can give one a sense of purpose, direction and reward for a job well done. Gratitude can be a tonic that revitalizes the OFW to continue working under lonely, stressful conditions.
4. Don’t blame them for being away.
Many times, the pain OFWs feel can be a double whammy. Not only is it difficult to be away from their families, it hurts them even more when they are blamed for everything that is wrong with their relationships with their loved ones. Everything is dumped on their lap because they are not present to fix things. While their absence may very well be a factor in why certain things are wrong, e.g. why his son has taken to drugs, why the daughter failed in school or ran away, why the family was cheated of its savings, or whatever else can go wrong, it does not really help the situation to pin the accusation solely or needlessly on someone who is helpless at the moment because he is abroad and is therefore not in a position to fix things.
Instead of blaming, families could attempt to engage one another, including the overseas member in a serious conversation about what together they can do about the situation.
5. Encourage them to get a life outside of work.
While the OFW may not really choose to live abroad but for necessity, it can be a great learning opportunity to learn a new language, understand a new culture, meet new friends and enrich one’s life overall. Many people on both sides of the fence, at home and abroad, mistakenly tend to view the situation largely as one of pure sacrifice with little joys to anticipate wherever one is.
That’s really too bad because being abroad can be a great learning experience in independence, creativity, culture, adjustment and discovery. I’ve been amazed at how some of our countrymen have built happy lives in remote, seemingly inhospitable cultures. It is wonderful how they can make something good out of a bad situation.
For families at home, it is OK to encourage the OFW to pursue personal growth and happiness. Some may worry that growth or embracing their situation can cause them to be estranged from their significant others back home. That can be a valid worry. While it is necessary to remind them to be anchored to the family, it is also important to slacken just a bit the chains or ties that bind.
6. Don’t forget to greet them on their birthdays, Christmas, New Year, Father’s Day, etc.
These special days may not seem as special or have the same urgency to the people at home, but believe me, to the one who left and is living in some alien place, to be forgotten on a special day is a pain that can induce overwhelming sadness. This is especially true when all the other Filipinos they work with receive greetings, gifts and calls from their loved ones back home.
7. Put aside some of the money the OFW sends home for a rainy day.
Many families who are beneficiaries of the OFW’s blood, sweat and tears have the attitude that daddy or mommy, kuya or ate will always provide. Thus they spend on trivial unimportant things and are caught flatfooted when the job contract is not renewed and the money runs out. They soon discover that all that sacrifice was for naught and they are all back where they started!
8. When they come home, make sure to be around for them and for events where the returning relative can experience the family life he or she has missed.
Many OFWs come home for that rare visit looking forward to family bonding, only to discover that the people he wants to spend time with are busy, or worse, not interested to be with him/her. They discover that they have become strangers to their families and only token greetings and affection are accorded them. They do not feel integrated, only accommodated. Their presence after a long absence may even be seen as disruptive to the household’s daily routine.
This can be a big disappointment and may even discourage the OFW from coming home as often. Losing a reason to come home is a tragedy that he and his family can ill afford.
The OFW phenomenon is here to stay. Thank God modern communication can somehow ease its alienating effects on families. But even as we learn to live with it, we should continually find ways to keep OFW families from becoming dysfunctional despite the absence of some of its members. The family is one of our nation’s stronger institutions, our joy and our treasure. We owe it to ourselves and our countrymen to keep it intact, even under the worst of circumstances.
November 23, 2008
Our world has been practically divided into longitudinal zones of time. Thus standard time differences are observed per zone and this varies by geographical location. Space ..they’re only dimensional boundaries to be traversed between two person-points. Such barriers are getting quite infinitesimally smaller what with the advent of technology. As participant Benjie Garcia of Wanbol Web Media mentioned in a seminar I once attended on Making Money on ebay, “Internet has made the world smaller.” It’s so easy to keep in touch.. if you have the time, and the heart, and the inclination. But really, space and time can’t separate kindred souls. Not when they’ve shared so many memorable moments together: funny ones, tearful ones, wrathful ones, peaceful ones – oh so many colorful pictures in my memory book. Yesterday a good friend of mine,J, and I relived them again.
Warm, multi-colored memories... there’s plenty more hidden intact in the crevices of my mind. Ready to be served hot over a pleasant talk and a tugging walk down memory lane. I’ll play host next time. I think perhaps some cinnamony treats or butterscotch or plain pound cake…and hot chocolate.. wow! Coffee, anyone?
- that you cannot just give and give without taking for eventually you will run out of what you are giving away
- that you can grow strong from each moment of weakness, it’s up to you to overcome that weakness and turn it into strength
- that you cannot change paradigm unless you are willing to open up to the fact that there could be other possibilities
- that sometimes you need to bend yourself a little, so you can look at another point of view
- that the best way to see your worth is through other people’s eyes
November 22, 2008
November 20, 2008
I beg your pardon.. did I say trade? Uh-uh.. Well, first things first. You have to be in the right trade in the first place. Coz if you’re at the wrong place or trade or business to begin with, how else can things follow?
It's been some time now that I've been thinking about being in the wrong trade. But as the days wore on, I'm learning some new things. Never in my imagination did it occur to me that I'll ever be near a publications company. I know nowhere anything about fashion, movie reviews, society gigs or least of all, automobiles!!! But then, as they say and now I learn, there's always a first time for everything. And opportunities for learning new things don't just drop on your lap very often. So perhaps this is a new challenge for me.
November 17, 2008
Daddy left Dumaguete early in the morning and met up with Mommy and Aunty in Cebu so they can celebrate Mommy’s birthday together.
I wish my Mom a peaceful year, a grace-filled year, a blessed year. I thank the Lord for the gift of my Mom. God has given us countless blessings all these years. Nothing tops the gift of my loving family.
November 15, 2008
November 10, 2008
Kuya just turned 37. I called to greet him on his birthday and they were out for lunch, enjoying their favorite pizza. I miss being there with them, perhaps I would have joined them if I were still in Manila. I miss going to the malls with them and just hanging out, eating, window-shopping, making tambay at BookSale or ogling new gadgets in the computer world.
Here in Dubai, I don’t have the luxury of buying in the m alls as I still don’t have money to splurge. I’ve still got debts to pay back home. And my bills are not coming in, meaning penalty for overdue bills are piling up. It’s a difficult life.
November 07, 2008
But somehow this is all the talk that’s been going around for a couple of days now here at the house. We just recently received bad news from back home. My aunty Gingging has been diagnosed with cervical cancer. She has been a widow for almost a decade now. And, in retrospect, seems to be a most likely candidate for such an ailment. Nobody suspected. Not even her. She seemed to be so healthy and fit and was always on the go. Then one day, she was admitted to the hospital because of pain in her right kidney. They said they needed to perform surgery on it right away. She was admitted to the hospital where my mom worked. When the next call from my mom came, it was to tell us that there was a finding on aunty. My grand-aunty Flor was her attending physician and who told my mom of Aunty Gingging’s condition. They immediately had a sample tissue sent for biopsy. When the results came, my mom had a hard time coming to terms with the sad news. Aunty had stage 3 cancer already.
My aunty Gingging celebrated her golden birthday a couple of years ago. An active servant of God, she always volunteers for ministry work in the Handmaids of the Lord (HOLD) arm of Couples for Christ. She holds such a zest for life, actively going around joining ILCs anywhere in the archipelago, one time even touring down Malaysia together with her sisters in HOLD. I remember her as a very flamboyant person who loved to sing and dance. Way back in the late seventies, when The Saturday Night Fever movie showed in theaters around, my aunty took me with her to see the movie. When we left the moviehouse, we immediately went to a record house and she bought the soundtrack album. When we got home she immediately played it on the phonograph and we started doing the John Travolta moves to the tune of Night Fever. Boy it was fun!
But now, aunty’s ovaries have grown so very large after her hospital stay. It’s like she was pregnant by the size of her abdomen. With most of the folks back home being very traditional, talk started about my aunty being the victim of a curse. Rumors came out that the thing in her stomach is due to a curse. They wanted to bring her to a quack doctor. They even sent one relative to a known quack doctor, offer my aunty’s name/birthday, some info and ask him to heal her.
I believe in miracles, especially from God. It would take faith, I know.
Mommy was always crying and was text messaging everyone in the family but still couldn’t bring herself to tell aunty about her condition. But when friends started calling in to visit her and encouraging messages started trickling in, the inevitable happened. Aunty learned. Whether it was from her own son, or brod or sis from the CFC ministry or maybe by her own hunch, she learned. And she dealth with it. She prepared herself- emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And she’s still fighting her battle.
I sent my mom a package in time for her birthday, and along with it I sent the pink cap with a pink ribbon which I wore during the Pink Ribbon Walk for a Cause (Breast Cancer Awareness) in Dubai Burjuman. I said she should wear it even if it’s not breast cancer.
Mommy made the rounds of their properties and asked the consent of all her siblings to sell off a parcel of land in Zamboanga to pay for all the therapy and medical expenses. Then they went to Cagayan de Oro to look for a good oncologist but the best ones seem to be in Cebu so they scheduled for an appointment with the doctors there. The doctors immediately scheduled surgery to remove her ovaries which have grown so big that they were already impeding her kidneys.
On the day of her surgery in Cebu, Aunty Gingging called everyone of her siblings and had heart to heart talk with all of them. She wanted to make peace with all of them just to be sure and wouldn’t want to proceed with the operation unless she’s fully ready. She was strong. The doctors said her body was really fighting back. There were four doctors assisting the lead oncologist. Praise God for the good outcome of her surgery. Her doctors allowed her to go home to Iligan to recover and gain back some strength (maybe for a month). Then they will need to go back to Cebu to begin her radiation therapy sessions.
We continue to pray for her that her recovery will continue and that she will truly survive her cancer malady.
I had interviews and decided to accept the job as a receptionist in the sales office of a publication firm here in Dubai. Pay is okay considering that the work does not entail too much brain use… ha-ha. It’s really more of coordinating skills and patience on the phone. “,)
And so, I had so much time on my hands. Enough to pen in most of my thoughts, as my head is already brimming full of things to post on my blog. Hence, these most of my blogposts now.
Then the phones started ringing. And I didn’t know how to handle the multiple ringing around the office. Then I was asked to fax some paper, and I was doing it all wrong. I was used to our fax machine in the laboratory where the document is placed facing downward whereas here it has to be placed facing up.
Then I was called in and told to report to the Jebel Ali office for at least a week seeing that I needed to be trained first on the basics of the job. And I thought I was office literate. Hah!
So off I went to Jebel Ali- at the Dubai Industrial Park where the printing press and main office is located. There, I met all the writers and staff of the publications firm except the Editor who was on leave at the time.
I had several more bloopers at work including transferring calls to Mohamed the Accountant from Mohammad the designer who actually wanted me to connect him to Mohamad of KSA. When I was told my mistake, I immediately looked at the numbers of the KSA staff, and guess how many Mohamad I saw on the list? Three!!! Three Mohamads to choose from. Grabe, di ba?
October 30, 2008
October 28, 2008
… the scar continues to remind us of a past best forgotten, and the pain.. the pain will linger for as long as one allows it to.
Personally, the physical scars are not that important to me. It’s usually the emotional ones that are hard to ignore. Like hurt from people you trust and love and who you expect would hold you up and respect your life’s decision – these and more. They will continue to remind me that there is only the Lord who will remain faithful to me in all His promises.
October 26, 2008
This is the church where we go to attend mass every Friday. Weekends here in Dubai start on a Friday and end on Saturday. Sunday is the first day of the workweek.
October 20, 2008
I have actually attended a seminar-orientation for Canada and have also signed up online for New Zealand. We both agreed on much the same things: peaceful environment, good place for children to grow up in, low crime rate, not so hectic lifestyle, and where there’s already an existing Filipino community who can help and support us in each wee bit of problem every newbie/self-starter would find himself in. I’ve often said, I want to stay in a place where I know I can have people to run to when I have troubles hounding me. I just thought how difficult it would be if you have no support system in place.
Well, I know I can always count on my family to cheer me on and give me that much-needed morale support. But then, that’s really all that they can do (them being so many miles away from me). I also must have enough courage to keep me going. And I must learn to adjust to the new environment, the diversity of cultures around me, the food, the accent, the smell, the prices of commodities, aahh… this I think deserves a separate blogtime. Coz there’s just way too much to talk about when it comes to adjusting, especially in a totally different world.
Well. Anyway, back to what I was saying- community. Yes, that sense of community is much too elusive nowadays. I found out that however high your hopes of finding your own community some place else, there’s just way too much politics, or ruckus, or whatever it is you call it, for community to be truly working as it should be.
Even if you have your own relatives to run to, the real spirit of communion just doesn’t seem to be present. You always get to a point when there’s always bickering or talk behind the back, or minor disagreements that oftentimes lead to bigger arguments. Somehow, I have so gotten used to living on my own for more than half my life that it’s not easy living with family under the same roof once again. Somehow, I just have to go through another adjustment on that aspect once more.
On the first mass that I attended here in Dubai, I heard the priest talk about the illicit affairs that most Filipinos get into, even with the parties involved being both married people. Most times though, it’s the Filipino women (married back home), engaging in adulterous state of affairs when they come here. I don’t understand it. Everyone is telling me to just accept it, that it’s an everyday reality here. I must learn to live with it. I just want to understand it a little better before I can accept it. I know it’s happening in almost every part of the world now, but I just don’t get it. Why can’t these married folks remain faithful to their partners back home? Is the distance and separation really so much to bear that they can’t stay true to the vows they made on their wedding day? Do they not think about their kids back home? Why then did they decide to work so far from home if they’re not strong enough to stay faithful?
I can see the Filipino diaspora in excellent play here. Everyday, thousands and thousands of Filipinos try their luck in this city of gold. Yes, they get duly compensated, but the distance from home has resulted to a lot of Filipino families getting destroyed or disunited – the basic unit of Filipino society crumbling to its very core. And thanks in part to the Arroyo administration for encouraging the flight of so many Filipinos to participate in its call for the Bagong Bayani OFW’s dollar-earning stream in support of the flailing Philippine economy. I for one would like to know just how successful is this OFW dollar remittance program though. Did the dollars really pour into the Philippine treasury or somewhere else? What is the metrics for this kind of program- the $ sign?, the GDP?, the Philippine peso’s stability? What of the upliftment of society? What metrics do we measure this by?
When I first came here, I had such high hopes about fitting in easily because I heard there are so many Filipinos here. But as the days wore on and I got more acquainted with Dubai for all it is, I developed a negative impression of the place. And mainly because of the negative reputation of Filipinas here. I fear I might be classified among them. I fear I will also be treated like second- or third-class citizen.
It took me several weeks getting used to this facet of life here. Having interacted with decent Pinays here at work and elsewhere, and also hanging around other cultures who treat us no differently than they would their own, I somehow felt a little lighthearted by the warmth they showed. But still, it burdens my heart so, knowing that somehow we still need to make more effort to uplift the status of Pinays in this society.
And where to begin?
October 14, 2008
Oh how wrong I was. I miss my family terribly. The first weeks passed by through long distance calls and chats with my family, especially my favorite niece, Langga. And I have my flatmates keeping me company on walks and short trips just around Deira to while the hours away.
October 09, 2008
And because it’s holiday, the whole flatmates went on a swimming spree to Jumeirah Beach (all the gals, guys not included). This is the first time we were all able to come together since I arrived. More often than not, there’s just one or two of my aunt or cousins who could accompany me because everyone was working. We’d be lucky if all the nurses in the house would have the same off-days so that we can all together get around on short walks or go shopping. But now, even the other flatmates came along with us.
Wacky, our little boy at the flat (he-he.. doesn’t look little anymore, huh?) enjoyed playing in the sand so much; he wouldn’t want to come out of the water hence the ‘tan’. Sa atin, tostado na ito.
I’ve had sudden change in plans and was ready to go along with my bro. I was just waiting to see if he’d make it in the interview by the Canadians then I’d also join the next batch for CND.
He didn’t make it however so had to push through with the original plan of going the Dubai route.
Learned at the last minute that I’ll be needing a red ribbon for my educational certificates which should be authenticated by the UAE embassy. So while waiting for that, I made the rounds of my friends just within the vicinity to say my proper goodbyes to them. There’s no telling when will be the next time I’ll be seeing them again. Definitely, I’d be flying the Cebu route and head direct for home when I come back.
September 03, 2008
had quite a laugh watching that kc movie. =) couldn't help snickering every time i hear the gals seated 3 rows back exclaim over every lil thing and line in the movie.
i can say though that q & i learned that "love changes people." touche!
August 31, 2008
oo nga. sa trabaho ko dati, pag dumadating na ang buwang ito, naghihigpit na ng sinturon at alam naming lahat papalapit na ang 'peligro de agosto' - comes the time for belt tightening measures. pero parang hindi lang nitong buwang 'to ako nagtipid, nitong buong taon 'ata e. ang dami (as in ang dami) kong pinalagpas na chance na gumala. paano, nag-a-anticipate na ako ng mga buwang walang trabaho ergo walang sweldo ergo walang panggasta.
but as a month-ender, me and kwin will be out to watch a movie. siyempre pa, at ano bang pwedeng pang-kilig na sine nitong mga panahong 'to? no other but a kc movie, of course. hehe...
August 17, 2008
August 15, 2008
(pic courtesy of nytimes.com)
can't help it. i'm a phelps fan!
just couldn't breathe every time he competes. i really do so want him to get those 8 golds. but if he doesn't, i'm still a big fan.
not a swimmer myself, but i love watching the olympic swimming competitions. i have to hold my breath in those seconds before they hit the buzzer. just last summer, i have tried to learn how to swim, making the most use of the swimming pool at our staffhouse. especially that i have already planned on leaving. the good news there is that i was at last able to float. i've been trying for the longest time to do this. just was so scared of the waters for so long. this time i was able to conquer that fear. and all thanks to camille who had to bear with me patiently, teaching me how to breathe and move my legs. i'm not good though. it's enough for me that i was at last able to float! hahaha...but phelps is another story. he's just awesome.
go, phelps, go. go for eight!
August 12, 2008
August 10, 2008
(pic courtesy of Reuters at ABS-CBN website)
stayed up late just to be able to watch the opening of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.
how i wish i was there. been dreaming since last year to be able to set foot on beijing for the olympic games. and with it being hosted in china, i thought if i could just save up enough money then maybe i can go there along with some family or friends. that dream never happened. so just had to content myself with watching on television as the opening unfolds.
it was such a magnificent opening night. the chinese really know how to give a show. it was so spectacular. i oohed and ahhhed along with so many of my companions. truly a sight to behold.
August 07, 2008
God bless you and advance happy birthday, too.
August 02, 2008
August 01, 2008
July 31, 2008
I've been reading articles about Slowing Down. some of you may want to take a look at the articles there. they're written by David Bohl, a life coach who created the slow down movement to help others realize the need to enjoy the real value of life through personal coaching and self-improvement.
there's a whole spectrum of topic to read on there, from work productivity to self-improvement, to financial debts, to the best years of your life, etc...
i am now starting to take charge of my life and slow down enough to be able to stop and smell roses and pick sampaguitas along the way.
July 29, 2008
would you believe my fave song is title to a movie? remember, i just posted this on one of last month's blogs? pang-masa talaga mga trip ko.
here's another poem. this time by Christina Rosetti (circa 1830-1894).Remember
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me;
you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and
Than that you should remember and be sad.
July 27, 2008
Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the "nay" in your own mind,
nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires,
all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth:
and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
this article was very, very insightful. and quite wise. it was titled: Are You Working In or On Your Career? sort of the question: 'Are You Making a Life Or Making a Living?'. it talked of expanding one's dreams, creating networks and educating one's self. let me just quote some of the lines there.
"Working on your career makes you more valuable in your company and in the marketplace. It provides you with the type of security that doesn't come with a job, but which comes from being a thought leader in your area.Continually stretch the bounds of your work, through rich interaction with both people and ideas. You'll be rewarded with an aliveness that transcends any promotion you could receive, and a satisfaction steeped equally in what you contribute and who you've become.
At this point, you might have a mixture of feelings—fear, excitement, discouragement, wonder. That’s a good thing. It means you are waking up to reality and what’s possible. You’ve lifted your head up to see the landscape more clearly. Going back to the day-to-day trenches will never be the same. Celebrate this new awareness and begin the journey."
i do so want to journey on with firm knowledge of what i truly want- a full and happy life. i want a life well-lived.
Reason, Season or Lifetime
People come into your life... for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
or to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
the season eventually ends.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Used with permission
~©Brian A. "Drew" Chalker~
July 19, 2008
June 29, 2008
June 24, 2008
I salute my boss who embraced our decision to leave, well, maybe not with her whole heart, but who opened up to the possibility that we can still work on having better lives elsewhere. and i thank her for her good wishes. i felt that her heart understood what my heart was trying to tell her.
this past week, i've been getting questions as to why i decided to leave. and some even hinting that my act was quite hurtful to my boss and all the others i'd be leaving behind. it seems unthinkable to most people in the plant that i will want to leave given that i have just been promoted and i hold some key role in initiating improvements in the quality and food safety systems in our company.
what pains me is learning that some people would make a jab at my decision to seek personal growth elsewhere. i believe we all have a right to think and decide for ourselves on what we may deem to be our best chance at a good life and give it our best shot. and the least that anyone can do really is be a well-wisher to us in our quest for a better life. and i expected that much from my friends. i do not need the cold shoulder, or the cold treatment. i can forgive such acts, though. and i have tried to really stretch my understanding on why this came about. how i wish i understand. because i want to start anew. and i would rather that there are no ill feelings from peers on the decision i've made. well, we can not please everyone. i have given ten and a half years of service to the company. and i'm proud to say i gave my best in those ten years.
i can handle the quiet support. oh yes, i do appreciate the light tap on the shoulder. and i was surprised that there's been quite an unexpected number of them. thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
im also grateful that even MJ the director accepted my saying that i would like to look back in my old age knowing that i learned the answer to the 'what could have beens?' in my life. despite her saying that it's quite a waste seeing that i've invested a lot already in my work here. she calmly accepted my farewell and wished me a good life.
i do not want to grow old wondering of the 'what might be's" just because i did not even attempt. i want to live a life without regrets. i may stumble and fall, but i know i have more than enough inspiration from the Lord, my family and friends to will myself up and rise again. i will move forward after each fall, after each loss, after each failure. as they say and i quote, "The biggest gap in the world is the one between "I should" and "I did".
"May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you." - Irish blessing
there is no more apt time that i need this blessing than now, when i have just handed in my resignation to my boss. this doesn't mean i'm severing all ties from the company. almost a third of my life i have spent in this plant. i have already forged so many friendships while i've been here. most of my godchildren i've sponsored while i was here. and most of my experiences here have made me stronger as a leader and as a person and have helped deepen my values in life.
i know that there's still so much to come back to... to talk with friends again to keep up to date on each others' lifes, to laugh with friends again on the moments that have made our lives worthwhile, to share with good friends all of life's ups and downs, including flounderings, failings, and more falterings. and at the same time sharing the small triumphs and nagging fears. 'coz that's what friends are for.
friends ask you how you are. friends ask about your family. friends want to know if there's something they can do to help. friends reach out to lend a hand even if you don't ask. friends don't just call when they need you. they don't give you the cold shoulder when you obviously are hungry for encouragement and support in your decisions. they make it known that they are there for you. that's why i appreciate so much those who send in a little word or two and those who still text despite the distance. yes, they do manage to bring that bright little lift at times when i most needed it. and for which i am most grateful.
June 14, 2008
went to visit my stuff at the retention room. a lot of the stuff were old, old files. grabe, haven't included it in my 5S clean-up. have to dispose of them. there's no more need for them now.
when i got home this evening, i opened my top shelf cabinet at the staffhouse and discovered a lot of disposables, too. some what-nots i bought for theme parties at the staffhouse. now, they are to be thrown away for good. good that i was able to pack a few clothes and sent them along when mom went home. but goodness, there's still a lot more left to be disposed of.
June 07, 2008
i am now slowly putting my plans into motion. that letter is ready and just waiting for its moment. my loans have been paid up. i have only my insurance premiums left to be paid. most of my things are not yet disposed of, though.
talked with family and friends about leaving. some are skeptical, some are supportive. i now know who i can really turn to for that much-needed advice, that tiny wisp of wisdom, and that bright little lift when i much needed it.pretty soon it's time to say bye-bye...
this gypsy waif is ready to explore new worlds.
May 31, 2008
had dinner at kanin club in paseo. mom enjoyed the dishes so much and thinks of making the same when she gets home to iligan. we ate: binukadkad na tilapia, sinigang sa miso salmon belly, crispy tadyang, with thai green mango salad on the side. wow, sarap!
woke up early to bring my mom to the airport. she's headed off to iligan as she still has work and some other matters to attend to. i have hinted to her that i'm gonna be borrowing some money while i'm out looking for a job. i've only a few weeks left here at work. and i'm leaving... finally!
May 28, 2008
May 13, 2008
May 02, 2008
April 28, 2008
April 25, 2008
a certain song keeps playing in my head. looked it up in the song list. sadly however, it wasn't there. sayang! but anyway, i'm posting the lyrics here. have been nagging everyone at the lab if they knew the lyrics of the song. drei was quick to join in on the humming and the recalling.. hahaha.. and so finally i decided to google it. it's a song by maureen ncgovern.
I never had much luck with lovers before
I seem just part of the street
to be walked on by everyone, but then..
and it almost breaks me in two
and I’m never gonna let go.
I know you’re one of the best
and take nothing in return (in return)
and I always will bethe one person that you can
count on always to love you
Over and over its burning inside,
I found a very special love in you
squeezin me tighter,