June 29, 2008

Moving On

hah! the long wait starts....

i just feel that it's true what they say, "when God closes a door, He opens a window." i know there's always something to look forward to. here's one of my most loved songs.

Move On

...They say a restles body can hide a peaceful soul.
A voyager, and a settler, they both have a distant goal.
If I explore the heavens, or if I search inside.
Well, it really doesn't matter
as long as I can tell myself
I've always tried....

Like a roller in the ocean, life is motion
Move on
Like a wind that's always blowing, life is flowing
Move on
Like the sunrise in the morning, life is dawning
Move on
How I treasure every minute
Being part of, being in it
With the urge to move on.

I've travelled every country, I've travelled in my mind
It seems we're on a journey, a trip through space and time
And somewhere lies the answer
To all the questions why
What really makes the difference
Between all dead and living things
Is the will to stay alive.

The morning breeze that ripples the surface of the sea
The crying of the seagulls that hover over me
I see it and I hear it
But how can I explain
The wonder of the moment
To be alive, and feel the sun that follows every rain.

these words are so meant for me- the wanderer, the one who keeps on moving. it seems that the songs i've loved since childhood have certain truths that keep ringing even now that i'm grown up already. Truly the grace of God never ceases to amaze me.

June 24, 2008

Realidad Part2

part 2

"Forgiveness is not the misguided act of condoning irresponsible, hurtful behavior. Nor is it a superficial turning of the other cheek that leaves us feeling victimized and martyred. Rather it is the finishing of old business that allows us to experience the present, free of contamination from the past." --- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Fire In The Soul

I salute my boss who embraced our decision to leave, well, maybe not with her whole heart, but who opened up to the possibility that we can still work on having better lives elsewhere. and i thank her for her good wishes. i felt that her heart understood what my heart was trying to tell her.

this past week, i've been getting questions as to why i decided to leave. and some even hinting that my act was quite hurtful to my boss and all the others i'd be leaving behind. it seems unthinkable to most people in the plant that i will want to leave given that i have just been promoted and i hold some key role in initiating improvements in the quality and food safety systems in our company.

what pains me is learning that some people would make a jab at my decision to seek personal growth elsewhere. i believe we all have a right to think and decide for ourselves on what we may deem to be our best chance at a good life and give it our best shot. and the least that anyone can do really is be a well-wisher to us in our quest for a better life. and i expected that much from my friends. i do not need the cold shoulder, or the cold treatment. i can forgive such acts, though. and i have tried to really stretch my understanding on why this came about. how i wish i understand. because i want to start anew. and i would rather that there are no ill feelings from peers on the decision i've made. well, we can not please everyone. i have given ten and a half years of service to the company. and i'm proud to say i gave my best in those ten years.

i can handle the quiet support. oh yes, i do appreciate the light tap on the shoulder. and i was surprised that there's been quite an unexpected number of them. thank you all from the bottom of my heart!

im also grateful that even MJ the director accepted my saying that i would like to look back in my old age knowing that i learned the answer to the 'what could have beens?' in my life. despite her saying that it's quite a waste seeing that i've invested a lot already in my work here. she calmly accepted my farewell and wished me a good life.

i do not want to grow old wondering of the 'what might be's" just because i did not even attempt. i want to live a life without regrets. i may stumble and fall, but i know i have more than enough inspiration from the Lord, my family and friends to will myself up and rise again. i will move forward after each fall, after each loss, after each failure. as they say and i quote, "The biggest gap in the world is the one between "I should" and "I did".

Realidad Part1

part 1

"May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you." - Irish blessing

there is no more apt time that i need this blessing than now, when i have just handed in my resignation to my boss. this doesn't mean i'm severing all ties from the company. almost a third of my life i have spent in this plant. i have already forged so many friendships while i've been here. most of my godchildren i've sponsored while i was here. and most of my experiences here have made me stronger as a leader and as a person and have helped deepen my values in life.

i know that there's still so much to come back to... to talk with friends again to keep up to date on each others' lifes, to laugh with friends again on the moments that have made our lives worthwhile, to share with good friends all of life's ups and downs, including flounderings, failings, and more falterings. and at the same time sharing the small triumphs and nagging fears. 'coz that's what friends are for.

friends ask you how you are. friends ask about your family. friends want to know if there's something they can do to help. friends reach out to lend a hand even if you don't ask. friends don't just call when they need you. they don't give you the cold shoulder when you obviously are hungry for encouragement and support in your decisions. they make it known that they are there for you. that's why i appreciate so much those who send in a little word or two and those who still text despite the distance. yes, they do manage to bring that bright little lift at times when i most needed it. and for which i am most grateful.

June Update

June welcomes chi-chi's birthday. wasn't able to go to manila for the celebration. but she had fun celebrating at a favorite restaurant with a very nice ambience. gustong-gusto ni langga ang place! hey chi, magkasingtanda na tayo. hahaha... all the very best to you and family! stay happy and healthy. and keep on doing good.

tonki called up sometime this first week of the month. has been trying to set up a get-together with the gals in the south area of manila. aba, oo nga pala, madaming bday girls ngayong buwang 'to, herself included.

was quite excited to meet up with them. she arranged for me to go with arlene, since she lives nearby lang naman. we scheduled the meet on the 19th, holiday pareho kami ni arlene sa laguna 'coz of rizal's bday. i went to the dfa in the morning for my passport renewal application. we met at atc, talked awhile at starbucks then had dinner at a mediterranean resto on the 2nd floor. got to talk with det, elaine, hazel, tonki and arlene again. sayang wala si ate joy, bday girl din 'yon e. next time na lang daw when she's back in the pinas.

on another note, it's been a week after i talked to my boss and handed my resig letter.

marami nang nangyari. marami akong realizations....

dalawang hausmeyts na naman ang nagpaalam. sir rey and joban, we'll miss you!

June 14, 2008

Time to Tidy Up

it's time to clean up my stuff. ang dami ko palang mga tagong papers. mga kalat na, actually. hehe.. the non-essentials. ",)

went to visit my stuff at the retention room. a lot of the stuff were old, old files. grabe, haven't included it in my 5S clean-up. have to dispose of them. there's no more need for them now.

when i got home this evening, i opened my top shelf cabinet at the staffhouse and discovered a lot of disposables, too. some what-nots i bought for theme parties at the staffhouse. now, they are to be thrown away for good. good that i was able to pack a few clothes and sent them along when mom went home. but goodness, there's still a lot more left to be disposed of.

June 07, 2008

Plans in Motion

the days pass by so fast...

i am now slowly putting my plans into motion. that letter is ready and just waiting for its moment. my loans have been paid up. i have only my insurance premiums left to be paid. most of my things are not yet disposed of, though.

talked with family and friends about leaving. some are skeptical, some are supportive. i now know who i can really turn to for that much-needed advice, that tiny wisp of wisdom, and that bright little lift when i much needed it.

pretty soon it's time to say bye-bye...

this gypsy waif is ready to explore new worlds.