June 29, 2008
June 24, 2008
I salute my boss who embraced our decision to leave, well, maybe not with her whole heart, but who opened up to the possibility that we can still work on having better lives elsewhere. and i thank her for her good wishes. i felt that her heart understood what my heart was trying to tell her.
this past week, i've been getting questions as to why i decided to leave. and some even hinting that my act was quite hurtful to my boss and all the others i'd be leaving behind. it seems unthinkable to most people in the plant that i will want to leave given that i have just been promoted and i hold some key role in initiating improvements in the quality and food safety systems in our company.
what pains me is learning that some people would make a jab at my decision to seek personal growth elsewhere. i believe we all have a right to think and decide for ourselves on what we may deem to be our best chance at a good life and give it our best shot. and the least that anyone can do really is be a well-wisher to us in our quest for a better life. and i expected that much from my friends. i do not need the cold shoulder, or the cold treatment. i can forgive such acts, though. and i have tried to really stretch my understanding on why this came about. how i wish i understand. because i want to start anew. and i would rather that there are no ill feelings from peers on the decision i've made. well, we can not please everyone. i have given ten and a half years of service to the company. and i'm proud to say i gave my best in those ten years.
i can handle the quiet support. oh yes, i do appreciate the light tap on the shoulder. and i was surprised that there's been quite an unexpected number of them. thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
im also grateful that even MJ the director accepted my saying that i would like to look back in my old age knowing that i learned the answer to the 'what could have beens?' in my life. despite her saying that it's quite a waste seeing that i've invested a lot already in my work here. she calmly accepted my farewell and wished me a good life.
i do not want to grow old wondering of the 'what might be's" just because i did not even attempt. i want to live a life without regrets. i may stumble and fall, but i know i have more than enough inspiration from the Lord, my family and friends to will myself up and rise again. i will move forward after each fall, after each loss, after each failure. as they say and i quote, "The biggest gap in the world is the one between "I should" and "I did".
"May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you." - Irish blessing
there is no more apt time that i need this blessing than now, when i have just handed in my resignation to my boss. this doesn't mean i'm severing all ties from the company. almost a third of my life i have spent in this plant. i have already forged so many friendships while i've been here. most of my godchildren i've sponsored while i was here. and most of my experiences here have made me stronger as a leader and as a person and have helped deepen my values in life.
i know that there's still so much to come back to... to talk with friends again to keep up to date on each others' lifes, to laugh with friends again on the moments that have made our lives worthwhile, to share with good friends all of life's ups and downs, including flounderings, failings, and more falterings. and at the same time sharing the small triumphs and nagging fears. 'coz that's what friends are for.
friends ask you how you are. friends ask about your family. friends want to know if there's something they can do to help. friends reach out to lend a hand even if you don't ask. friends don't just call when they need you. they don't give you the cold shoulder when you obviously are hungry for encouragement and support in your decisions. they make it known that they are there for you. that's why i appreciate so much those who send in a little word or two and those who still text despite the distance. yes, they do manage to bring that bright little lift at times when i most needed it. and for which i am most grateful.
June 14, 2008
went to visit my stuff at the retention room. a lot of the stuff were old, old files. grabe, haven't included it in my 5S clean-up. have to dispose of them. there's no more need for them now.
when i got home this evening, i opened my top shelf cabinet at the staffhouse and discovered a lot of disposables, too. some what-nots i bought for theme parties at the staffhouse. now, they are to be thrown away for good. good that i was able to pack a few clothes and sent them along when mom went home. but goodness, there's still a lot more left to be disposed of.
June 07, 2008
i am now slowly putting my plans into motion. that letter is ready and just waiting for its moment. my loans have been paid up. i have only my insurance premiums left to be paid. most of my things are not yet disposed of, though.
talked with family and friends about leaving. some are skeptical, some are supportive. i now know who i can really turn to for that much-needed advice, that tiny wisp of wisdom, and that bright little lift when i much needed it.pretty soon it's time to say bye-bye...
this gypsy waif is ready to explore new worlds.