Anyway, I'm back at the lab and just surfing through the net before my boss comes in. Hmm, left the lab last night with a question hanging over my head... talk about Damocles...
You see, our company is offering a leadership development training to the manufacturing staff. And with our training team having this thing about being into whatever is the IN thing for the moment, yesterday was our First Day High. Trainings always start with the latest dance moves or games or reality show gimmick from their favorite local TV channel. Can't relate? ABS-CBN is airing a reality TV show on Pinoy Dream Academy while First Day High is a recently shown movie. Anyway, the whole plant seems to be a-buzzing with this learning academy fever and they're all just a-wanting to infect everyone with that much-needed projection of a highly contagious enthusiasm for this company schooling thingy. Everyone on shift was there. Everyone, that is, except me. So, what can you expect? It didn't take like 10 minutes after the program started when my desk-side phone started ringing. My boss called to ask why I didn't attend. After a few minutes of explaining, came the change in tone to a half note lower and the inevitable just had to happen. "Usap tayo mamaya." (Let's talk later.)
The later came a real bit late. I was on my way out at 5pm when she called me to talk about what happened that morning. Wow, she made it sound like it was such a big thing and there I was completely forgetting like it was already eons ago. "It was no big deal", I said. So why did I not go, she asked. "Was I not interested?", she added. "Is it okay if I did not join?", I asked. "Of course, I can't force you. But we have to talk about the why," she pushed.
Fair enough. The woman has a point. This kind of training does not happen very often. And there's no plan of it being repeated in the future. It's a leadership training program slated for the next three years (wow, long , huh?), covering most of the managerial skills (technical/behavioral/emotional) needed to equip future bosses. With the company rapidly expanding and most of top management haggling their time and attention between two departmental posts, it's high time to ready the second-level management staff for the succession planning.
So why do I not want this? It's almost a dream come true. Other staff members are even wanting to be in on it but they have not been chosen. Call it apathy. Call it indifference. Call it whatever you want. I'm way past caring. I distinctly recall a time when talks of such would cause a glimmer in my eye in anticipation. Now, the magic's gone. Yes, it's now only just a nice-to-have. But I do not see myself happily diving into it. It's a once-only-offered chance, I know. And my boss says there's a big take-out from this training.
Well, maybe my head's gone unsrewed coz I still can't see the total equation. I'm no opportunist, that I know much of myself. And I have long decided not to entrust my career pathing to the company. I'll work on it myself. The 'big boss' had once said not to demand that. So far thus this I know: that it wouldn't be fair.. for me to expect more from the company and for the company to expect more from me.
I can still hear her voice ringing: "It is a privilege that not everyone else gets to have." Let me see... a random act of kindness?, or might I say, generosity? Nah... I don't think so.