February 17, 2009


I lost, I’ve lost, I’m lost

Yes, I lost. Just last weekend, I lost a favorite pair of slacks which I left to dry out on the veranda. I can only assume it fell to the lower grounds of the building and I couldn’t find it anymore when I went down to search. Maybe somebody’s gone to pick it up and took it. Maybe it’s found another owner. Maybe. I lost it.

I’ve lost. In my bid to get a good job in a reputable organization, I’ve emailed all my close friends and my family to help me pray that I be chosen. But until now they still hadn’t called back. Maybe the other candidate already got it. Maybe I didn’t pray hard enough. Maybe. I’ve lost hope.

I’m lost. I keep thinking back : Hey, I had it all planned at the start. I went abroad with all great hopes and expectations. But I hadn’t foreseen the economic atmosphere. I hadn’t counted on the crisis looming ahead. I hadn’t prepared myself well for stiff competition. Maybe this is not the place for me. Maybe I am not welcome here. Maybe. I feel lost.

I want to find my place in the sun. More than that, I want to find myself again.

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